Goodbye Breastfeeding....

The day i have been long awaiting for finally came....and i envisioned confetti, balloons, and cheers as i packed away my breast pump and all the accessories...but instead....tears?!? What? Yup...tears streamed down my face as i packed away every last thing that had to do with breasfeeding...maybe it was because i was thinking of all the money that would now be spent on formula...or maybe it was because as much as i complained and hated pumping and breastfeeding, this was a definate end to the special bonding so many moms talk about.  I dont think Liam and i will have a broken relationship because i stopped breastfeeding at 5 months but there is a little tug at my heart strings that maybe i could have done better and lasted longer....darn breastfeeding ads and campaigns. Liam is now straight formula and i must say once i got over my sadness, it has been quite freeing.  Now the fun of trying to find the right formula because currently he spits up hours after he eats even though i try and keep him upright for at least 20 minutes after feeding him...something to talk to Dr Pip about next week...
On another note, and this is me being completely and totally transparent, i am stressed about having baby #2 which isnt making the baby making process fun or easy.  As most of you know, and to those that continue to ask, Jesse and I are hoping to be pregnant again by the end of the year. Yes, i hear those that say "enjoy Liam as long as you can" and "you sure you want to do it again so soon?", however all that plays in my head is it took 3 years to get Liam and i dont want another 3 years to go by before he has a sibling.  It something that constantly plays over and over again in my head. I have friends and co-workers that seem to just hiccup and they are pregnant and as much as i am excited for them, there is a little piece of me that hurts inside. I am just reminded of the heartache before Liam came to be and i am not sure i am ready to go through all the negative pregnancy tests again...and of course i am not making it easy because i am determined to break the Hinson streak and get my girl...Chinese Gender Chart says July is the next month for a girl...as Jesse rolls his eyes at my craziness...he shall see, he shall see...haha
I started back at the gym this past week and go for about an hour on my days off. Liam goes to the Child Care area and loves it! He loves watching all the kids run around and today even tried out one of the swings and flirted with the supervisor....thats my boy!