Goodbye Breastfeeding....

The day i have been long awaiting for finally came....and i envisioned confetti, balloons, and cheers as i packed away my breast pump and all the accessories...but instead....tears?!? What? Yup...tears streamed down my face as i packed away every last thing that had to do with breasfeeding...maybe it was because i was thinking of all the money that would now be spent on formula...or maybe it was because as much as i complained and hated pumping and breastfeeding, this was a definate end to the special bonding so many moms talk about.  I dont think Liam and i will have a broken relationship because i stopped breastfeeding at 5 months but there is a little tug at my heart strings that maybe i could have done better and lasted longer....darn breastfeeding ads and campaigns. Liam is now straight formula and i must say once i got over my sadness, it has been quite freeing.  Now the fun of trying to find the right formula because currently he spits up hours after he eats even though i try and keep him upright for at least 20 minutes after feeding him...something to talk to Dr Pip about next week...
On another note, and this is me being completely and totally transparent, i am stressed about having baby #2 which isnt making the baby making process fun or easy.  As most of you know, and to those that continue to ask, Jesse and I are hoping to be pregnant again by the end of the year. Yes, i hear those that say "enjoy Liam as long as you can" and "you sure you want to do it again so soon?", however all that plays in my head is it took 3 years to get Liam and i dont want another 3 years to go by before he has a sibling.  It something that constantly plays over and over again in my head. I have friends and co-workers that seem to just hiccup and they are pregnant and as much as i am excited for them, there is a little piece of me that hurts inside. I am just reminded of the heartache before Liam came to be and i am not sure i am ready to go through all the negative pregnancy tests again...and of course i am not making it easy because i am determined to break the Hinson streak and get my girl...Chinese Gender Chart says July is the next month for a girl...as Jesse rolls his eyes at my craziness...he shall see, he shall see...haha
I started back at the gym this past week and go for about an hour on my days off. Liam goes to the Child Care area and loves it! He loves watching all the kids run around and today even tried out one of the swings and flirted with the supervisor....thats my boy!

We've been Busy...

...which is why i have severely lacked in updating my blog...so sorry! This month we went on our first adventure to Florida since Liam was born...and an adventure it was.  Imagine me driving 8+ hours with 2 dogs and a baby while the hubby is 40miles ahead driving a work truck...NO BUENO!!!
We went to Florida for Jesse's work conference and then drove further south for a few days to spend time at my mom's.  Dont get me wrong, it was a wonderful week away, but the packing and planning for taking a 5 month old 400 miles away is quite extensive.  And if anyone ever needs advice on what to take when traveling with a small person, consider me an expert.
We got down to Orlando Sunday afternoon and after setting up for the conference, we finally made it to the room after the longest day of my life. Liam did amazing in the car! The dogs...well lets not talk about that....we spent the remainder of the week enjoying the pool, spending time with Aunt Cheryl, and SHOPPING (Liam told me that was his favorite....thats my boy!)! Thursday we headed down to South Florida where Liam met some of my old friends as well as those that new me as a baby.  It was nice to have a week away from the craziness and spend time with family.

Liam now LOVES sleeping on his stomach and thats the only way he will actually sleep. His palate has vastly expanded and we now have added squash, peas, apples, along with many other fruits and veggies. He has master eating from a spoon and now he even wants to help you when you try and feed him.  We are working on sitting up without teetering over as well as holding a bottle...i must admit both are my selfish wants because i envision sitting him with toys while i clean and giving him a bottle while i eat at the same time...wishful thinking....but soon...

I promise to update before another month passes....fingers crossed...time is flying and we are loving life with our 5 month old!

I like to eat, eat, eat...apples and bananas....

We have added many more foods to Liam's diet and he is loving every minute of it.  Apples and bananas are his favorite fruits so far and i think sweet potatoes are still holding out for favorite starch...it is fun to see his reactions when we try a new food....
Next on our to do list is an 8 hour trip with 2 dogs and a baby...and i am dreading it.  Jesse wont be able to drive with me so this should be fun...i have been reading blogs and parent advice columns to see exactly what i need to pack to be prepared and from what i have gathered, i just need to put my house on meals...who would have thought such a little person would need so much? I have packed and repacked and made list after list to make sure i don't forget a single thing but i am sure something was missed.  If anyone has any hints or suggestions, please let me know...
And on that note...back to the lists and the packing....

The Adventures of Real Food...

Carrots, Sweet Potatoes, Avacados....OH MY! We are exploring the fun of pureed foods and having so much fun.  It started about a week and a half ago with oatmeal...

I dont think he knew what was happening and quickly thrust out his tongue when the oatmeal got in his mouth.  Then the hands went into the mouth and then all over his face as evidenced by the oatmeal on his forehead and his eyelashes.  After this attempt, we tried one more time and gave up after the gagging began.  When we went to his 4 month check up, the nurse laughed at me when i said we tried oatmeal.  She said vegetables are the way to go because nobody likes oatmeal! So.....

Carrots it is! And although this face doesnt show it, he LOVED them! Yay for veggies! He gobbled them up and made a complete mess and he finally is getting the hang of swallowing the food and not just wiping it across his face. And i have learned a few things too for my own sanity.  Cloth bibs and clothes are out, naked baby and wipeable bibs are in....

We definately have reached the fun age and we are loving it everyday. I must say i have no idea how people who work 5 days a week do it. There arent enough hours in the day for all that has to get done. I decided long ago that i would make my own baby food and invested in a Baby Brevva which is an awesome baby steamer and puree machine in one. Between feeding Liam his bottles, making his veggies, feeding him his veggies, naps, tummy time, and everything else...i am exhausted by the time i think about laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc...but i wouldnt trade it for the world! Cant wait to see what we are eating by next post!

Things you may not want to know....

...or you may want to know if you are about to embark on the journey of parenthood...you have been warned!
As i was reminiscing with an old friend about Liams birth and the days right after, i caught my excitement for baby #2 starting to fade the more and more i talked about the joy of being pregnant and how my body has fallen apart after Liam was born.  I will never be one of those woman who LOVE being pregnant or want to experience it over and over again. Lets be honest here. You are tired all the time, your breast are so tender you want to cry when you bump them against something and as the pregnancy gets in the later stages, they become roadmaps with all the veins that start popping out, you waddle like a duck, you have to master a tuck and roll technique to get out of bed or off the couch, and if you got $1 everytime someone said "you sure you are only having one baby?" you would be a millionaire. I mean, why wouldnt i want to pregnant again, right?
My friend was brave enough to ask about body after baby and if you know me, i dont hold anything back. As much as i love the breastfeeding diet (i have dropped over 50 pounds since Liam was born), breastfeeding also does a number on what used to be normal breasts. Now i am blessed with an A cup and a D cup.  You should have seen the eager Victoria's Secret sales lady try and help me find a bra with those measurements. I give her an A for effort at least. Stretch marks are another fun thing to deal with after baby.  My entire pregnancy i thought, "wow i am lucky, not one stretch mark on my belly." Little did i know that those stretch marks where laughing at me from under my belly where i couldnt see them. Once Liam came out, hello stretchmarks.  Although they have faded, they are still there and taunt me everyday when i put my stretch mark cream on hoping that they diasappear.
Her next question was about sleep. O precious sleep. I can kiss days of sleeping in goodbye. Now i am happy if i can just sleep until 8am without Liam waking up early ready to start his day.  I was blessed with a baby who pretty much slept thru the night at 6 weeks old HOWEVER the days leading up to 6 weeks were ROUGH.  Be prepared soon to be moms out there because i am convinced if you can make it thru those weeks without killing your spouse, then you can get thru anything.  I dont know if it is all the hormones racing around, combined with no sleep, combined with the frustrations of breastfeeding, combined with healing from pushing a watermelon out of a button hole, but those first few weeks are the worst.  I am not going to sugar coat it for you, you are going to want to just lock yourself in a room and cry until its over. Waking up every 2-3 hours to feed, change, and probably feed again is exhausting.  The recliner in Liams room became my new bed for those first few weeks.  I dreaded night time because i knew what was coming in the next 8 hours.
They say you forget about all the bad that comes with having a baby but i seem to remember pretty clearly.  Does that mean i dont want anymore children? of course not! Does that mean i may reread this post daily until i am ready to go thru it again? You bet ya!

4 month olds are so much fun!!

Liam turned 4 months old yesterday and has gotten more and more fun by the minute.  He is grabbing at things, trying to hold his own bottle, and talking up a storm.  Jesse and i are loving it!  The other day, we were out running errands and Liam started mimicking me making "raspberries"...so cute! We no longer are wondering what is going on in his little head because he makes it known when he is happy or not....he also is getting harder and harder to keep entertained.  I can only mak so many faces before he is like "now what mom, thats boring."
He is also loving his jogging stroller.  I am trying to get my pre-mom/pre-marriage figure back and that includes jogging. Jesse and i load him up in the stroller and Liam looks at all the trees and coos as we go along.  I had the joy of going by myself earlier this week and when we were done with our jog, he kicked his feet and had a big smile on his face.  If that doesnt motivate you to keep up the jogging i dont know what will.
I am excited for our 4 month appointment next week.  Our pediatrician is going to talk to us about starting some food and i am ready to try out my baby food maker contraption.  Now when Jesse and i are eating, i almost feel guilty because Liam will stare at us and watch as we put food in our mouth. I read somewhere that when you start feeling this way it is time to start trying pureed foods. I may be more excited then Liam! Stay tuned for those stories...and i will take any and all advice as far as what to puree!

We've been Busy....

....learning how to roll!! Liam is a little acrobat in his crib every night and it is always a guessing game how we will find him in the morning. Of course i am a nervous wreck all night thinking i am going to find his face pushed into his bumper so my nights have become more restless...thats what i get for working in a pediatric ER...and i know it is a simple fix by removing the bumper but a)it is just too cute and b)i would just be worried that a limb would slip through the rails and get stuck...so restless nights it is....but Liam is loving it...the minute he gets put down on his back he rolls to his side with a big smile on his face...so cute...
We also have had to find a new babysitter which has been an ordeal since i went back to work. Again, we are reminded of how blessed we are with family and friends that help us out...starting in June though we have a wonderful friend that is going to keep him once a week and he will have a consistent face...we are excited...Liam is too! Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers, and offers these past few months...
We are couting down to our first vacation as a family of three....Orlando here we come...although i will take any and all suggestions for traveling with a 5 month old and 2 dogs by myself...this should be interesting...Jesse is driving the truck for his conference on the way down so its up to me to get the rest of our crazy crew to our destination...then the pups are off to south florida for a week...i am getting stressed just thinking about it...
I apologize for the long hiatus and promise to keep blogging...work got in the way...i am officially every weekend now so i can spend majority of the week with Liam...Jesse and i are getting creative for when we see each other...maybe this is why we fell in love over a long distance relationship? We are prepared for lengths of time without seeing each other...although it still is hard...but you gotta do what is best for your child...
Until next time.....

So thats what they look like...

It's Spring time and i couldnt be more excited. As much as i love the cooler weather for my hair, i was getting bored of my winter wardrobe. Liam was too and the first time i put shorts on him he stared and stared at his white legs. Now i am just praying that once those legs get some sun they will nice and tan like daddy and he wasnt cursed with my ghostly skin. We are loving our spring outfits and the chance to be barefoot! I realized the other day that that child has had something covering his feet since the day he was born. He is finally free! Liam also laughed for me this week and it is the best laugh i have ever heard. i even didnt mind hearing it at 4am one morning when he was having his own little party in his crib.  i went in to see what he was up to and as soon as i peaked over the rail, a big smile came across his face. How can you be mad at that?!
This weekend was "Man weekend" because i was at work. Liam watched his first Gator basketball game and even wore his Gator attire to cheer on his team. Daddy and him visited me for lunch on Saturday and then took an adventure downtown. He definately gets out and about and loves it. He is so easy going and just goes wherever with little to no fuss.  He has even mastered eating a bottle during church! i am amazed.
Now you can see why baby fever is creeping up although i try and tell myself there is no way i would be blessed with 2 easy babies. The next one is going to be a hellion i am sure. Guess we will have to wait and see....and hopefully have an answer as early as next year. WHAT?!?!?! CRAZY?!?!?

Where did the 3 months go?

I WANT THEM BACK!!! He is growing like a weed and i hate it....although i must say it is nice to have a conversation and get some kind of response back.  In my mind he is understanding everything i am saying where i am sure he is just laughing and cooing so that i get excited and get out of his personal space. Whatever makes me feel good right?
This past week, Liam has started staying awake more during the day and is starting to need more interaction which i am loving. We have found some fun toys that he is starting to grasp at and now when we do tummy time, there isnt any screaming involved.  He loves getting on his belly and pushing himself up to look at whats going on and has gotten really great at, as evidenced below.

Remember how i wrote in my last post that the crying at bed time is gone? Well...its back and again, I want to pull my hair out. I am trying to wait it out, blame it on the time change, because if it continues, i may just never put him to bed. It breaks my heart. He is fed, burped, changed, and pacifier is in place yet we still scream and cry for at least 20 minutes before its over. sigh.
Aunt Yvonne came to visit and meet Mr. Liam. He pulled out his best. The bottom lip before a meltdown, smiling, cooing...he showed it all.  He will have many more stunts in a few months when we visit South Florida which hopefully includes eating pureed food.
Until next week.....

Reunited and it feels so good.....

Going back to work was a lot easier then i expected and i survived. It was great to see friends and have adult conversations instead of talking to a baby and dogs all day. Jesse and i also learned how blessed we are to have family and friends that took time out of their busy days to help us out with babysitting...Liam is one lucky baby. He spent his week with many new faces and looked like he was having the time of his life everytime i got a phone update. What did people do before smart phones? Now, i am off for 6 days which excites me! Hopefully he doesnt think i am boring after all the fun he had this week.

Week 12 is almost over and he is growing like a weed. He is starting to recognize his name and seems to know who Jesse and I are instead of looking at us like we are crazy when we get in his face to ooh and ahh.  The night time screaming is officially over and all and all we are in our routine and doing wonderful! He is starting to grasp at toys that we dangle in front of him and rumor on the street is he has laughed out loud but i have yet to hear it. He is such an easy baby and i just know the next one is going to be pay back. As much as that scares me, i still can't fight the baby fever that has settled in.  Some may think i am crazy but both Jesse and i are close to our siblings in age and the more we talk about it the more it makes sense to us. So stay tuned, this ride may get a little crazy soon but we wouldnt have it any other way....maybe i just need to be reminded of sleepless night, emotional days, and terrors of breastfeeding...hmm...yeah...

Week 11: The Last Week of Freedom

These last 3 months have flown by and my maternity leave is officially over....sad sad sad...I have 2 more days to win the lotto so i can spend my days with my sweet boy and forget work...a girl can dream right?  I have been trying to work up to this week but i dont think any time away can prepare me.  It also doesnt help that my mom no longer is available to watch him so this week was stressful trying to find someone permanently to watch him as well as cover until we find that person.  I must say we are blessed with family and friends that want to help in whatever way they can and have offered their time, as well as their resources to help us find that perfect person for our son. Stay tuned for details in next week's blog because if i talk about it anymore, the waterworks will start...
As each week goes by it gets better and better.  Liam is growing so fast and i am loving it.  He loves to "tell stories" (aka babbling and mimicking the sounds we make at him) and is starting to grasp at things.  He has had the same activity mat since he was born but lately has discovered it has 4 friends on it that he can play with.  I think the elephant with the ball in his tummy has become his favorite.  He also has discovered the mirror on it and smiles at himself non-stop, sharing his stories with himself too.  It makes my heart smile!  I am head over heels in love with 2 boys now and it is amazing!
We have conquered the night screaming which makes bedtime that much better.  I am not saying he has perfected it yet but we are one step closer.  Now, there is a lot less crying and a lot more smiling from all of us as he goes off to dreamland happy. I cant quite figure out what did it or what we changed to make it happen, but i am certainly not complaining.
Encouragement and prayers for the difficuly week ahead are appreciated....this face is going to be hard to leave!!!!

Week 10 and a Date...

Week 10 taught us the beauty of a schedule.  I was given BabyWise by a good friend and although i don't agree with everything it says, it provided tips on getting a baby on a schedule to make your life easier.  I now am no longer anxious when we go out because i know what times he eats and can plan my day around those times.  We even made it to church tonight and although he didnt make it the entire service, he went longer than he has since he was a newborn. We have conquered sleeping through the night and i am proud to say once he goes down, he doesnt get back up until 8am. Still, the going to sleep is a problem that baffles me.  He takes all his naps in the crib and doesnt fight but when it is time for bed...forget it.  He screams and cries. So what does that mean for me? I cry with him because he breaks my heart.  My mission for next week is to get that situation figured out and any suggestions for a peaceful routine are welcome.
This week, Jesse and I were able to go out on Valentine's Day while Liam stayed home with our good friend LaShawn. It was the first time we were out since he joined our family and it was much needed although now i know why everyone said i need to start leaving him more often to prepare for when i go back to work.  We were gone 4 hours and i couldnt wait to come home and hold him.  12 hours is going to seem like an eternity!! sigh...i am not ready.
He is still discovering his hands and is trying to perfect the skill of fitting his entire fist in his mouth and is still trying to figure out what those 2 things on the end of his legs are.  He has outgrown the mesh sling in his bathtub and now sits up in it with assistance and splashes around with his legs.  When he does it he gets a big smile on his face.  Grandma and Grandpa Hinson along with Uncle Jeremiah came to visit this weekend which Liam enjoyed.  He was able to show off his new skills since they last saw him.
Until next week...

9 weeks down...so many more to go...

This past week i have been introduced to consignment sale shopping and i am OBSESSED.  A friend of mine told me about one in the area and i immediately became consumed with the idea. I researched tips of what to buy, what not to buy, how to plan so you don't overspend, etc...and Tuesday when the doors opened, i was ready.  Liam now has a complete summer wardrobe of the most adorable clothes.
We also learned this week that Liam has found his hands and can't get enough of them.  Everytime i look at him he has them in his mouth and smiles with pleasure.  He also started sleeping through the night which is a dream come true.  Now he gets to sleep sometime between 8:30-9p after a long drawn out bedtime routine that involves him screaming his lungs off for an hour (we will address that later when it doesnt make me want to scream) and around 0430 i hear him smacking on those hands but he eventually goes back to sleep and then i dont hear from him until about 0700.  I LOVE IT!! I finally feel like a normal human again.  My goal this week is to write down when he naps and eats and start getting him on a routine.  "Babywise" has become my friend and i am determined to get him scheduled for when i return to work (which is another event we will address later when it doesnt make me want to scream).  I will keep you updated on that.
Until next week......

The Past 8 Weeks....

Liam is 8 weeks tomorrow and boy has he taught Jesse and I ALOT since he joined our family.  I have never known such exhaustion but it is an exhaustion i wouldnt trade for anything.  Since he was born, he has been termed a "good sleeper" by friends that are moms.  I still consider him a sleeper-in-training because i get up 2x in the night since we switched him to the 8-8 schedule our pediatrician recommends.  In the earlier weeks, he was 11-11 which worked for me cause i would go to bed at 9 and Jesse would take the night shift (highly recommenr that new moms) and i would only have to get up once and it would be a more acceptable morning hour then the 3am wake up i am doing now.  But again, wouldnt trade it for the world.
If anything, i would say the hardest part to this new mom thing was and still is breastfeeding.  I will spare you all the details but the first 2 weeks were hard.  I would take childbirth with no epidural 10x over if with our next child we can skip over those weeks.  You want to give your child the very best but let me tell you, no one prepares you for the emotion tied to breastfeeding or the difficulty.  No one tells you the first 2 weeks are the worst with your hormones all over the place and your milk supply not fully in yet.  What does that equal?  Tears from both you and your baby.  Jesse deserves a medal for what i put him through.  You question your ability to be a good mom, you pass the screaming baby to him and say things like "make him stop" or "i cant handle this."  He looks at you like "What do you want me to do, your the one who has the milk" or "i know you will kill me if i make a formula bottle because you want him to be only breastfed."  O the fun of those first weeks!!!  Some of you know exactly what i am talking about and are having flashbacks to those days and can only laugh now because those days are over.
I think this past week was the first week that i thought to myself, "i can do this."  Liam is smiling and is more verbal, meaning he makes more noises then just crying.  I get excited for morning because i know when i go in there to get him from his crib i will see his precious smile. He also is more interactive with us, which makes it less like staring at a campfire (thanks Jackie for that analogy).  It only gets better from here on out and we cant wait to see what he is going to grow up to be.
Until next week....

I'm Back.....

.....and ready to blog! Alot has happened since my last post.  As you may have noticed, the title to my blog has changed.  It all began Saturday, December 10th, 2011 at 1:12pm.  Jesse and I had been staring at each other for 4 days straight and we were getting restless.  Jesse was officially on "paternity leave" and i had been on bedrest for a week due to my swollen feet and high blood pressure.  Jesse was dying to see one of his guy movies and since i was feeling nothing, i encouraged him to go see a matinee assuring him i would be fine and we would run our errands when he got home.  Those errands never got done.  At 1:12pm that Saturday afternoon, as i was settling in on the front couch for a little nap before Jesse got home, i felt a pop and a gush of water run down my legs.  My first thought was "did i just pee myself" which was quickly followed by "get to a bathroom."  After about ten minutes, i realized it would be nice of me to fill Jesse in and call my doctor.  When the nurse asked me over the phone if i was sure my water broke and it wasnt a trickle, i had to laugh out loud.  I am still baffled how women survive the embarrassment of their water breaking in public.  It is no joke.  About that time, Jesse came home and we packed up the car, kissed our puppies goodbye, and headed to the hospital.  We checked in to Hotel Northside around 3:30pm and waited for our little boy to make his grand entrance.  I won't go into details about all the fun "medical procedures" that I got to experience but you lose all sense of modesty when having a baby.  And being a nurse, i definately have some more sympathy for my patients after being on the other side.  Finally settled at 6:45pm with my epidural, my pitocin going through my IV, and a foley in place, I think it hit that we were going to have a baby.  Our doctor was thinking he would be a December 10th baby but Liam had other plans.  After 45 minutes of pushing, our little angel was born at 0443 the morning of December 11th, 2011, weighing in at 8pounds 2ounces and 18inches long.  And our life changed for the better.

We have learned alot in the past 7 weeks he has been a part of our lives and although i am by no means the perfect mom, i wanted to blog about daily happenings and maybe help other new moms out there that are learning things along the way.  And maybe they can help me out.  It is always a good feeling to know there is someone else out there thinking the same thing.  So here we go....anyone want to join me on this adventure?